Good enough
by littlemichiru
Summary: i hope in another life to be good enough for you, Ruka"


_Funny…I wrote this story while I was on vacations and had nothing to do just because I had a random idea, nothing personal. But today I found out that the title matched somehow how I feel sometimes when weird things happen and how I feel now. Anyway, back to the story._

"_She came home late again, like every day two weeks now. I don't know what's going on and she doesn't let me inside. She keeps a distance by me like I am going to do something bad to her. Though I have never done something against her…Or have i?I must understand what's wrong, because every day she seems more and more distant. I am loosing her…"_

Michiru closed her diary and hided it in her closet under of some photo albums which included pictures of her and Haruka when they were younger, mostly by highschool. She had heard that Haruka finished her shower and rushed downstairs to prepare her dinner. But when the blonde girlfriend walked in the kitchen…

"I am not hungry at all" she said and went to the living room to watch a race. "I ate something outside" she added without even looking at her again.

Michiru felt hot tears threating to fall and so she decided to wash the dishes. She threw the untouched food to the bin and focused her whole mind on washing the dishes. She, then, took a look at the living room. The tomboy was looking at the screen like her whole life was that race. The aqua haired girl sighed softly and returned to their bedroom. She laid on their bed that they shared for 3 years and just stared at the wall for some minutes. After about half an hour Haruka walked to the room as well.

"I am going to sleep to the spare room. I am not feeling really good and don't want to annoy you. I am going now, I am really tired" she announced and took her pijamas.

"No, stay. The bed there is unconfortable. You are tired and need to rest. I will take the bed there, you can sleep here" Michiru told her.

The blonde didn't insist. She changed clothes and fell on their bed. Michiru took her pillow and went to the spare room.

"I love you" she whispered before she close the door but Haruka pretended she didn't hear her.

Michiru fell on the bed of the spare room and closed her eyes letting free her tears finally. Things werent like always. They were always best friends. They had fallen in love since the first time they met but they didn't want to destroy their friendship. 3 years ago they had become a couple and everyone was saying that they were the perfect match. The first year they were so much in love. At days they wanted to walk side by side for hours and at nights they couldn't satisfy their need of having each other as close as it was possible.

Though, the last two months everything changed. She was merely at home saying she was practising for a race. She was returning home really tired and was going to bed without even carrying for the aqua haired girl. Not ever once she asked her how her day was. They havent even kissed for two months…

"_I am sleeping at the spare room a week asked me to move there temporaly with the excuse she needs some space for her body which is in pain cause of the practice. I miss her warmth. At least the previous two months I had the chance to look at her sleeping form. What an erony…The last week we were sleeping together she kept repeating a name in her sleep.. "Silvia" I have never heard Haruka whispering my name in such heart is aching so much to admit this. Now I have just to wait when she will tell me…I know she will do so. Things are serious. I hear them talking on phone at nights. It's close…"_

Michiru was sitting on her favourite armchair reading a book. It was evening, around 8 pm. Haruka returned home early that evening. She walked to the living room and asked to talk to the aqua haired girl. Michiru placed her book aside. It was time…

The blonde seemed a bit nervous. Michiru didn't like this. She loved Haruka more than her own life and didn't want her to feel like this.

"Give me some minutes to collect some clothes" the aqua haired girl told her simply.

She wasn't the kind of girl that would make her lover repeat what she already knew or could guess, just to feel better, just for revenge.

The blonde looked at her surprised and confused.

"You don't need to explain, I know enough things" Michiru explained.

The blonde's eyes scaned the other girl's face but Michiru's face was so calm.

Michiru turned and walked upstairs. In less than half an hour she was downstairs again holding a small luggage. She had decided to take only some clothes she owned and some pictures. She didn't even touch the jewelleries, the dresses and the teddies Haruka had gifted her.

Haruka walked to her side and kissed her. Michiru thought she would feel some kind of warmth, but she was wrong. Her heart beated slowly like it was dead as she realised that the blonde kissed her just by duty, by pity. There was no feeling…

"I want to ask you…If you knew, why…?" Haruka started.

"Why did I stay? " Michiru completed her question. The blonde nodded. "Because I had the illution that our love was strong, that you would return back to me if I wouldn't give up" she answered with such a honest that was burning her.

Haruka looked at her with sympathy.

"She feels pity for me" Michiru thought. "it's over…" She had to leave that house…she had to…

"Be happy. I am sorry for not being good enough for you" she whispered and left the house.

Haruka's eyes widen. She stayed there looking at the closed door for some minutes. Then, she walked to the room they used to share. She started opening the wardrows and looking at the things she had left behind. For first time in that two months she felt guilty. She didn't know why her love for Michiru fainted. The aqua haired girl never threated her differently. She was always full of love for her.

Haruka opened Michiru's closet. There she found some photo albums that Michiru had kept with love. She decided to take a look at them when she noticed a small diary. Unsure she opened it.

She started reading random were starting by the time Haruka had asked her out. They were full of love. At last she started reading the last entries. Her heart felt heavier reading Michiru's silent pain and realising how much that girl loved her. She turned the pages till she found the last one. It was written some hours ago.

"_I know she will tell me tonight. I saw it in her eyes when she greeted me at the morning. I have nowhere to go. My parents…I left them for her. I cant return to them. I cant lie. She was my life and now… Now I cant go on. I cant complain…I spent the most beautiful years of my life by her side. These years are enough for me. I surrender my soul to the hands of God hoping that he will forgive me for all my sins and will allow me to look over her even after death. I wasn't good enough when I was in life, I hope after it it will be different. I just want her to be happy with the person she chose and that she will be better than me on bringing her beautiful smiling face on surface. That's the last time I write here… The game is over."_

Haruka's heart stopped beating for some seconds. It wasn't true…She had misunderstood for sure. But it was written there.

"Michiru…"she whispered so lowly that she was mererly heard.

Some kilometers away, on the top of a cliff, an aqua haired girl closed her eyes and let herself free hoping for release and forgiveness. Hoping that in another life she would be good enough…


End file.
